Two Mothers On The Differences Between The First Child And The Second

Two Mothers On The Differences Between The First Child And The Second

For everyone who has had more than one child, you probably thought all your feelings, thoughts, experiences, and way of doing things would stay constant with each child. I mean, why would it be any different right?

They’re all your children, and they should all be treated the same, get the same things, and make you feel the same.

Reality is, after your first child, you will see more differences than you expected. Here are some differences some mothers have experienced.

From Sarah Cottrell:

James, my first son experienced a super hippy-dippy all natural, free-range, organic in utero stay at club pregnancy. This came complete with massage, meditation, mantras, yoga, ultra vegan vitamins, 9+ hours of sleep every night, and a mother who read nothing but birthing manuals and How To parenting books.

Peter, my second son experienced a super laid back, occasional fast food burger, sometimes a glass of red wine, never a moment’s peace, 6 hours of sleep a night stay at the Motel 6 version of pregnancy complete with a wild three-year-old sucking up all of mom and dad’s time and energy.

My first son, James, was born after 21 ½ hours of agonizing natural labor. He was surrounded by two midwives, four nurses, a doctor, and more than a dozen family members pacing the halls. In addition to the waiting room and delivery room, all with camera’s ready for action.

Peter, my second son was born after several loopy hours of pain-free labor followed by a C-Section surrounded by a couple of nurses, a doctor, and his poor exhausted father. A sympathetic nurse took a blurry picture of our son’s arrival.

James had all organic, gender-neutral clothing purchased from (mostly) local vendors with low carbon footprints.

Peter had all hand-me-downs from his older brother, the neighbors, his cousins, and family friends. More than half of these hand-me-downs were tie-dyed to hide stains.

My first son had a baby book that was dutifully filled out with complimentary photo albums. In addition to letters to him for future dates and a crisp dollar bill to start his college fund.

My second son had a gag-gift baby book that documented inappropriate milestones. Including the first time he pooped on me or the first time he spit up on dad. Only two pages are filled out. His college fund was started on a Thursday afternoon in between a dentist appointment and grocery shopping and with a lack of fuss and symbolic gesture.

From Jen Simon:

For baby one, I marveled over each photo — looking at his little ribs, spine, nose — wondering what he’d look like, if he’d have his daddy’s eyes or my mouth. We scanned the images and uploaded them to Facebook, making captions, sharing them proudly.

I even made frames for my parents and in-laws so they could show off the baby before they had actual baby pictures. I kept each original picture (and even some duplicates) in a folder dedicated to the baby, in chronological order of course.

For baby two, I forgot to show my husband the pictures half the time. Instead, I found them days after my appointment, crumpled at the bottom of my bag, under snacks, wipes and crayons.

When I thought about it, I put a few on the fridge. But I certainly don’t make copies for my parents or in-laws this time. Why would they want a picture of an alien/fish/baby-looking thing? Especially when they could display a picture of their beautiful 3-year-old grandson instead?

And Facebook? Forget it. I certainly wasn’t taking the trouble to scan things. Let alone show off a grainy, black-and-white image that wasn’t even cute.

Tell us some differences you’ve experienced with your first and second child!

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